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Bilrow
Bilrow Bilrow, full name "Bilrow The Unicorn," (emphasis on the capitalization of "The" and "Unicorn") is more commonly known as "Bilrow: Chief Protector of the Realm," His official Grand Global Alliance title for being one of the three Triumvirs in the triumvirate which guides the GGA. Bilrow is a rare but approved slang/pop-culture nickname used for The Unicorn. Another nickname for Bilrow The Unicorn is Bilrad, as given by Dementual. Tales of The Unicorn: The following is incomplete, given that the tales of The Unicorn are still being compiled and the revelation process is not yet complete. Only approved prophets may be the sources of the Tales, and all non official tales are hereby declared blasphemy. One should note that all approved Tales of The Unicorn begin each sentence but the first with either "and" or "for" clauses and the first is always "There was once a Unicorn- The Unicorn." ---- 'Birth and Naming:' There was once a Unicorn- The Unicorn. And It was spawned from the very bosom of Cyberspace itself, birthed into the cyberverse and existence silently. And It was all knowing; all powerful. And with this vast knowledge It came fourth and named itself. And that name which He graced unto Himself was the most revered of all, for He named Himself Bilrow. And Bilrow was His name. He never quite learned the basic concept of "show, don't tell," or how to spell, even. Then he got AIDS. 'Loss of Powers' There was once a Unicorn- The Unicorn. And He was both omniscient and omnipotent. And He was impotent. And He was alone in the vast Cyberverse, though it's glow and warmth comforted Him. And this was a time of great mystery, for little is known. And what is known is that He set in motion all that is today. And then he did something extraordinary. And this miraculous event was His relinquishing His powers. For he was depressed. And it is understandable, even to the weak and feeble among us known as mortals. For anyone who knows all and can accomplish all quickly becomes bored, especially after having created a universe of things with which to fill the Cyberverse. And so, having nothing left to do, he made himself one of us. And He entered into the Cyberverse a second time, naked and cold. For everything had been left behind. And He was known as Bilrow. The Word of The Unicorn: By The Unicorn: ** Lies! Blasphemy! Heretics! Shun the heretics! ** Defining the definer in a definition is the definition of defining. ** what do jellyfish eat? ** You need some shrubbery.. ** you have better luck finding a whore down in the red light district ** you don't go in someone's house and take a dump in the living room and not expect to get hit in the face. ** I fingered him... that sounded bad... ** help help I'm being repressed! ** Rogue attacking someone to leave CN is soooo last year... ** No. ** <''Bilrow''> huggles the knuts ** I will not tolerate you not tolerating ** get back here ** He's looking at my member. How dare he look at my member! ** don't be exploiting me either ** sorry forgot my period ** I see all, like a good unicorn ** grunts and moans ** don't punch your dog ** what's new? Nothing, just owning all your souls ** <''Bilrow''> sneezes pink About The Unicorn: ** So says The Unicorn! So say we all! ** Hmm... let me think... no I have not seen Bilrow_in_clothes lately... sorry ** Bilrow is in your CPU! ** He's stabilized be his 4 feet. Him being a unicorn and all. ** Bilrow is a deity of such proportions that it could only fit in the body of a unicorn Fun Facts: * Bilrow is a furry who has HIV. He hates the NTO and tried to use Moloch to bring it down. Thankfully, Bilrow is a complete mongoloid who can barely even construct a sentence (as proven above by his laughable "Tales of the Unicorn"), and didn't realize that Moloch was a really cool dude who would rather tell it like it is, have a fun time, and leave the NTO, than kowtow to some overweight zoophilic retard on the Internet. * Bilrow The Unicorn has no one color or appearance. Instead, his color changes at his will and emotion, much like a mood ring. Whenever he flies into a fit of rage, he turns the color of AIDS, which is known only to the Unicorn People (bestialist homosexuals). * Bilrow and Tearowe had a love-child in #GGASecure. She had gotten too close to his horn. ** Despite rumors started by roomers, Tearowe did not go "ziga-ziga-zigau!" or similar and vanish when it happened. Any other woman would. Her experience with kaz is what saved her from death by intercourse with The Unicorn who would be king. * Bilrow does not have a penis. It fell off when another man clenched his ass really hard. * When Bilrow got a lugi caught in his throat, he coughed it up, splattering it on the floor. From that glob, several members of the Grand Global Alliance, including JonathanBrookbank, DerekJones, Kaz, Ironchef, and Randleman were created. * Bilrow's horn grows an inch for each time he deals with a major pain in the rectum and ends up doing good from it. He often files his horn down to compensate. ** This prophesy is the word of Valet- wiki shout out! ** Filed horns make for better bayonets than Vlad the Impaler could have ever dreamed (Bilrow wants you to impale his fat ass with your horn). * more coming soon! Creepy Pictures That Bilrow Submitted Category:Grand_Global_Alliance